Every time I write a new post it feels like a lifetime has happened in between, and I just want to say a huge thank you to all who have followed God’s work in my life and the lives of these people in Nyangwena, Zambia through this blog. There’s no logical reason for you to be concerned about these children and this community thousands of miles away. However, I’m sure you feel a tug on your heart and have responded by pressing towards the compassion God has instilled in you. Thank you for your faithfulness!

My last post was about feeling lonely. Man, has God showed up in response; I’m really at a loss for words. If you prayed over me for this, consider your prayers answered (of course in an ongoing fashion, because relational issues are never a “one and done”). Our house, called Abundant, houses six of us North American girls. We were blessed by a couple of guys on campus for Valentine’s Day with a surprise of flowers, cookies, card, and non-alcoholic rosé. In a foreign country where you expect nothing for such a holiday, this was so sweet (in many senses 😉 ); I shed a few tears of appreciation.

The next night, over nachos and the rosé, us gals had dinner and the conversation was fun, open, and full of laughter to the point of tears. The joy from that evening alone was so refreshing. But God wasn’t done yet. Side note: don’t you love how God blesses us in ways beyond what we have the faith to ask for?! In the morning, we had our weekly prayer meeting, which I’m privileged to lead. During the meetings, we are transparent about what’s happening in our personal lives and bear each other’s burdens in prayer. The time was as sweet as always and I felt like I should share the verse of the day I just saw from my Bible app, which was James 5:16:

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

What a cool promise that is so underutilized by the people of God! And I totally get why. Confess my sins? I already do that in my own prayer to God. But in James, a powerful reason is given to confess our sins to one another: so we can be prayed for and healed. I don’t know about you, but there’s something so freeing about letting others actually know our struggles and pray over us because this is how Christian community was created to work.

So Abundant house went around and each shared a sin struggle, because we’re all sinners this side of heaven, and prayer rained over these issues. Afterward, we watched a message from The Porch, a young adult ministry based out of Dallas, TX, called “Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You Your Future.” This message could not have been more relevant or perfect for all of us to hear in that moment. The main message was to encourage believers to be “living authentically, in relationship, with people committed to Christ,” and one of the first verses referenced was, you got it, James 5:16. You may call this a coincidence, but I believe in a God who speaks to us through what many would call pure happenstance. The other girls even asked if I had planned it this way, but I had never seen the message previously.

Here is the message, which I think is worth your time no matter your age or stage in life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NObYKWsiqeI&feature=emb_logo

All this to say, I feel very confident about God’s care in weaving the hearts of those who are a part of the Esther School together. And I’m expectant to see how we will continue to grow closer to God’s design for Christian community with each other and Nyangwena as well. Over the weekend I was also able to hammock under some trees and watch as boys started gathering from all around to play football. The younger ones were making silly faces with me, giving high fives, and letting me spin them around. Even though we couldn’t understand all of each other’s words, their joy was contagious and a universal language. I pray somehow you can feel it through your computer or phone screen. These children have so much love and wisdom to give and I’ll be forever grateful for them sharing it with me.

In Christ Always,

Ms. L

Prayer Requests:

• Pray for Zambia as a country; for the country’s leadership to be filled with conviction from the Lord and lead with integrity moving the country towards peace and prosperity
• Students who are getting sick, especially from malaria
• Significant changes are happening to the school calendar and daily schedules too, so pray for a smooth transition for teachers and students

Praises:

• The Roelofs and Costleys have arrived safely and are transitioning well. It’s such an incredible blessing to be under their leadership. (The Costleys even arrived earlier than expected!)
• Rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But seriously, this rainy season has been especially good compared to previous years for the crops these families need.
• Strengthened community among our staff working through hard things together
• Jim, our facilities manager is staying even longer to bless our campus and help with water

I hesitate to write about this sort of thing because I feel ungrateful even using the word. Lonely. It’s as if I’m saying I don’t appreciate the friends and family I have. Like I’m not grateful for the countless relationships that have sustained me thus far. I am. But relationships with people were never meant to fulfill completely. Only a close relationship with God can do that.

If I’m honest, I thought I was close to God. I mean I was doing all the “right things” that are supposed to enhance a Christian’s nearness to the Lord. I was reading my Bible daily, sending up brief prayers throughout the day, listening to lots of worship music, etc. What I didn’t realize was I was doing things supposedly “for the Lord” out of obligation and without inviting His Spirit. That’s dangerous. Without the Holy Spirit, what is typically live-giving can become draining because we need Christ’s strength to sustain us as Christians. 1 Peter 4:11 says, “If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.” We must rely on God’s strength and not our own so He gets all the glory and not ourselves.  

Now there’s a tricky balance at play here. On the one hand, it’s essential to open up our minds and hearts to let the Spirit lead us, but on the other, if we don’t participate in spiritual disciplines (prayer, worship, reading the Bible) we’ll start drifting away from our faith. I can’t say I’ve ever been successful at striking the perfect balance. I didn’t realize my scale was tipping heavily towards obligation in my relationship with the Lord until something woke me up.

I wasn’t sleeping, but I was busy. Busyness let me conveniently avoid acknowledging certain feelings. I couldn’t be lonely with so many people to visit, could I? Loneliness is for people who sit at home with no one to see or talk to or care for them right? What I didn’t anticipate was how meeting up with so many people can produce loneliness.

We crave to be known by other people. But no matter how much I shared with a person about my time in Zambia, I never felt truly known in this new major part of my life. God is the only one who FULLY knows every aspect of my life and deeply cares about my experiences in both. But I kept going to more people, hoping someone would really understand me. The more people I turned to, the less time and attention I was giving to God. I was angry with Him for not allowing me a friend to fill this void in my heart when He’s the only one who can. Eventually, I broke down and confessed these things; it was the most genuine and freeing thing I’ve done in a long time.

I never wanted to admit to the whole “being right out of college and getting lonely” thing. But here I am. I mean moving across the globe didn’t necessarily help. But being honest with myself, others and most of all God definitely has helped immensely. God doesn’t fear our emotions; He can handle our honesty. He likes when we bring things into the light and comes close in our pain. I can honestly say I’m doing better emotionally and am safe and sound back at The Esther School. We’ve gotten to walk to various homes over the past couple days to see our students and their families; I’ve loved every second. It’s amazingly green here and I’m expectant for how the Lord is going to use our simple yes’s to impact this community and these students in Nyangwena. I’m incredibly privileged to be a part of such a place where God’s presence is clearly at work.

Prayer Requests:

• Our water system is having leakage issues
• For continually strengthened relationships between staff members and community at large
• Students to be ready to start the new term on Jan 15th
• The Roelofs family to be approved by the Zambian immigration office (there’s been a delay already) and for the Costley family to arrive safely in February

Praises!

• Jim, our facilities manager, is coming back short-term to help with maintenance issues
• Rain, and keep it coming 😉
• Safe arrivals of our North American staff thus far
• Feeling refreshed from holiday breaks at home with family & friends

Considering this blog is primarily about God at work in Zambia, and I’ve been at home in Wisconsin for most of the past month, this update will be relatively short and sweet.

Many people have asked me about the transition back to the US for this holiday break. For the first week, including Thanksgiving, I was barely able to keep my eyes open after being awake for almost forty hours of travel back. However, I did greatly enjoy being at home with family and foods I’d missed (mostly ice cream & other dairy products 😊 ). I reflected on how much I have to be grateful for and honestly it overwhelms me if I think about it too long. God’s provided so many wonderful people in my life that I could never deserve who continually encourage me. Numerous individuals, families, and churches have also supported me financially, making it a reality for me to live out what I’m passionate about – reaching children with the love of Christ and helping them realize their passions and skills.

I could stop there: by expressing what a privilege it’s been so far to live this life. But, I’d like to recount a bit more about the transition and time on holiday.

Some things have thrown me off a bit since I’ve been back. One being flushing the toilet every time after using it; this still feels like such a waste of water, but I realize it’s culturally inappropriate (aka gross) here not to flush. Materialism (especially Black Friday) seemed even more prevalent after living among people who have so little, yet frequently count their blessings of having life, good health and family. It’s upsetting to see the extent to which we, as Americans, have bought the lie that filling our lives with stuff will satisfy. John 4:13-14 says “Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Christ claims to have things like living water and be the bread of life because He knows we cannot be satisfied in this life apart from him.

After spending a week at home, I headed to La Crosse, Wisconsin, where I went to college and still have close friends and supporters. I was blessed to stay at a friend’s apartment and be able to spend many hours with different people sharing our hearts with one another. Lots of eating out, eating in, coffee shops, meaningful conversations, worship and a swing dance of course 😉 filled my time. My soul was filled to the brim! After attempting to see as many people as possible though, I was starting to burn out by the end of the week and was grateful to return home. Now I am so very excited to see my older brother and his wife for a whole week over Christmas (as they live in Alaska); this will be the first time in a few years our immediate family has been all together.

Even though I can miss time with my immediate family greatly, I’ve been noticing those I call “family” as well as where I call “home” is growing. I definitely count many close friends here as family, but I also miss my Zambian family as well – my students, coworkers and coteacher, Patricia. I miss their hugs, smiles and love for the Lord. Living this missionary life comes with uncertainty of exact where “home” is, but is convincing me more and more it’s doing life with God and being around a family of believers.

Hopefully everyone finds the time to thank God for all of His blessings this Christmas season and thank you again for all of your prayers and support. The Esther School opens up again on January 15^th. Upon request from many of you, here is a short list of prayer requests/praises:

• Prayer
  • God would multiply the rest of the holiday to deepen relationships
  • Students enjoy their holidays with their families and for safe travels back
  • Safe travel back for all North American and Zambian staff in January
• Praises
  • Old relationships deepening and new ones forming
  • All of those who support the school prayerfully and/or financially
  • The Esther School having the Roelofs and Costley families returning in January as well

Perseverance: persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success

Perseverance is something God has so clearly put on my radar recently. It began with a morning staff devotion led by our headmaster. He showed a sermon clip about how our generation is always seeking something new in our lives, thinking it will excite and satisfy us; when stagnant for too long, we worry that with consistent routine comes suffocating boredom. As teachers (really in all occupations) every day can start to look and feel the same, and some days can be very frustrating with many failed tests or a disruptive class. I was starting to become worried about this myself with thoughts like, “Do I really want to be a teacher for the next 5, 10 or even 20 years of my life?” Then I quickly shut those thoughts out by telling myself I am just starting and it would be wasteful to switch paths now. These doubts revealed something deeper about a personal fear of boredom in consistency. But as the pastor fervently reminded us, we miss out on so much good fruit in our lives as Christians if we don’t persevere through the good, bad, ugly and potential “boring” tasks we face in daily tasks. Especially working with children, it is SO important they have consistency so they can know they are loved and safe everyday they come to school.

Recently, our students were doing a writing exercise to describe the Esther School. They brainstormed on the whiteboard what they saw, heard, and also about how they felt at school. This last category produced some of the most heartwarming answers, such as: happy, excited, like I’m at home, and like I’m in heaven. These responses not only made my heart overflow with joy but are evidence that simply showing up day in and day out as a teacher, and asking God to use us as a staff team has produced fruits of joy, peace, and love in our students’ lives.

Although many days are a challenge with students, I know I have the best students in the world when I sit back and watch them work so hard. Yes, they make many mistakes in their schoolwork. Yes, they talk during class and sometimes break other rules. Yes, they are definitely not the smartest, most athletic, or most creative kids in the world. But, they try. Most of them give their best effort almost daily despite some walking long distances, having shoes with holes in them, not having a stable home life, or not having family at all. I see a multitude of strengths in them collectively – in memory, reading, math, drawing, passion, generosity and in general an unprecedented eagerness to learn. Above all, they are developing a passion for the Lord and growing in how to love others well.

Small victories have become my daily song. My hope is in how God will bless my students’ hard work and use their gifts He’s given them to honor their desires of what they want to become someday. Larger victories will be won down the road after consistent smaller ones. Pictured below is a poster where all twenty-four sixth grade students wrote their hopes and dreams. Amidst the responses are becoming a teacher, policeman, doctor, news reporter, accountant, and even having a bike. Even though some of their aspirations may seem out of grasp, we serve a great God who sees and knows His children’s desires more intimately than I ever could; I want to hold on to hope for each of them. Everyday this poster helps reminds me of what I pray will happen in God’s timing for each of them – that their goals will be realized and they use their positions to show love and serve others in this beautiful country.

After a particularly hard day, I came home and relaxed by listening to music. The song “Don’t Give Up on Me” by Andy Grammer fit my situation so perfectly. I knew I did not want to give up on my students, but more than that I knew God was telling me He won’t ever give up on me with the same sentiment.

Enjoy the pictures below :). O We celebrated Zambian Independence Day on October 24th. I can’t believe it’s almost one week until I come back to WI! For anyone who wants to meet up to hear more about my experiences here, I’ll be back from November 24th through January 5th.

God Bless,

Miss L

You are loved. This is the theme for our students for the year during chapel on Fridays. Chapel is such an amazing gift. Students, teachers, administration, other faculty, and community members praise our King in Nyanja and English. Let me tell you friends, the joy is SO evident in the volume of singing and smiles on peoples’ faces! It’s hard to experience this kind of worship and not think of the song 1000 Tongues by Vertical Worship, but even two tongues worshiping is such a wonderful show of unity and a testament of God’s heart for His kingdom to be family. In those moments, enveloped in the praises of the Lord, it’s easy for me to think of God smiling, pleased at the focused attention of his children on Him. However, it’s in the more ordinary moments of the day where I find myself questioning if it’s true: does God really love me? Sometimes the more important question seems to be: does He even like me?

Chapel at the Esther School is primarily about growing the children’s understanding of God, however, immediately when I heard the theme, I knew this simple, yet powerful message was something I needed to hear. I believe this question of “Does God love me?” is one every human being is confronted with in their lives. Honestly, some days I believe it and am content to sit at his feet and soak in his delight in me. Other days I honestly don’t believe it. These are the days I fill my schedule to try to get my Father’s attention on the good things I’m doing for him, avoiding and attempting to hide the inner turmoil of feeling unloved or separated from his graces.

So much of our language is centered around doing for God instead of doing life with God. The “for” God mentality assumes that God’s favor may change based on our behavior instead of the truth that says “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). In the past week, I’ve tried to focus on time with the Lord in the morning more than the growing list of the things I have to do in a given day. My perspective totally changes. Instead of wanting to simply get through the day, I tend to stop and notice the small ways God is speaking throughout the day. Teaching becomes less transactional and more relational, which I believe is what it’s intended to be in the lives of students.

Speaking of, I cannot believe it’s been well over a month since I got here! Days feel like whirlwinds with so many small events happening. I’ll try to capture some here in words and images. First of all, football (meaning soccer) here is huge; it’s the sport of choice during recess, boys through men play on various teams in the community, and we’ve gotten to witness games almost every weekend right outside school walls. Almost every time a goal is made the people cheering on the sidelines rush the field to celebrate. So fun. Teacher’s day is a national holiday in Zambia and the North American staff celebrated by going to a park, where zebras, ostriches, and some other animals roam free (some pictures are below). Also, there will be many pictures of the sun. Sunrises and sunsets feature the most enormous ball of red orange and pictures don’t do them justice, but I find myself thanking God every time I witness one.

Students. As any teacher knows, they are a handful but well worth it. And every teacher is partial to their own kids, but I wouldn’t trade my rambunctious kids for anyone’s. They are so sweet and excited to learn, but also very talkative like all middle school aged children. When I ask a question, hands shoot up and some kids are even halfway out of their seat waving their arm back and forth to respond, repeating, “Ms. L, Ms. L!”. One thing I’ve enjoyed every time is reading aloud to the students in an animated fashion; they love seeing their teacher be so silly (we are reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; a completely new story for them). Although it’s been a major adjustment for me to slow down my pace of going through curriculum, there are always moments to appreciate and fill one’s heart with joy. One of my students before leaving for the day came out the door with a big sigh and came into my arms saying, “Ms. L, I just love you.” I was caught off guard, but responded that I loved her as well. Also, there is a picture of a note a student left after finishing her math test early in our pull out room. This is one way God lets me know I am right where He wants me to be and that He loves me, through the joy, laughter, hugs and high fives from these kids.

God bless,

Erika Lichtfuss

“You are enough.”

Those words stopped me in my tracks and were the first to greet me in the living room of my new home in Nyangwena, Zambia. They were proudly displayed in large letters on the wall. Enough? That is the last word to describe how I felt. I felt inadequate, uncertain, and unqualified for the many new responsibilities and experiences that were now dangerously close, which for months seemed so distant.

I’ve always felt inadequate. Never enough for my family. My teachers. Friends. Coworkers. Myself. And certainly not the almighty God of the universe. But the thing is, feelings don’t determine truth. The truth is I’ve been buying into a very simple, but effective lie of the enemy that I am a disappointment to God. He tolerates me. And is occasionally disgusted with me when I mess up really bad.

Those feelings are validated by many religions with a moralistic worldview, where you must earn favor with the god you serve. But the gospel truth of the Bible is so freeing: we have been saved by an astounding lover and creator of our souls though grace. God’s love has no bounds and isn’t constrained by our performance because the very righteousness of Christ is credited to us when we accept His sacrificial death on the cross.

Psalm 147:11 says, “The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” God takes pleasure and delights in us even when we don’t measure up to the world’s or our own standards. As long as we keep coming back to him and seek His face, He will not reject his children. And as I think about everything to teach the grade 6 class, nothing comes before the truth that they are loved by the God, who made each one with purpose in mind. Please pray this message comes out loud and clear to every student at the Esther School.

Well, now I should probably answer the ever popular question: How’s Africa?

This is such a short question with such a long answer. I’ll start by saying the two weeks I’ve been here has felt like a month. I live in a house on campus with six other girls, four returning and two newbies like me. We’ve all become fast friends, but are constantly learning more about each other. We do typical things for fun like play cards, watch movies/shows, hang out at a coffee shop in the city called Brew Me, and have taco Tuesdays. The first night we slept here there was a wolf spider to greet us in the dark hallway to our rooms; the others insisted it was unusual. I didn’t know if I believed them. But we haven’t seen one since; most of our resident spiders are skinner “wall spiders” that tend to go back to the same spot each night. I’ve named the two in our bathroom Mark and Jerry (although Jerry has been missing for some time now…I’m a little worried about him if I’m being honest).

God has graciously let me know that I’m chosen and where I’m meant to be here in a few ways. First of all, our administration not only says Christ is first here at the Esther School, but the culture truly lives it out. Staff has devotions every morning, weekly prayer, and coworkers are constantly checking in to see how each other are doing and offering encouragement. Early on, us teachers walked to students’ homes to inform them about Open House & PTA. I went with three Zambian teachers and sat and smiled knowing nothing as conversations with families were almost entirely in Nyanja (of which I know five words or less). As we walked, I prayed to connect in some way with students or families. As if on cue, a little girl ran up to hug me (kids do that to strangers here, especially white ones) and I held her hand or carried her as we walked for quite a distance. She was pointing things out as we went in Nyanja and I tried to nod in agreement, but what melted my heart was when she nestled her face into my neck. Some languages are universal.

The first day of school was Thursday, September 12^th, and up until that point, we’ve been prepping our classrooms like crazy. I get to work everyday with my co-teacher, Patricia, who is the sweetest individual and has helped me SO much in learning more about Zambia’s culture and how the classes are typically run here. No amount of time could have prepared me for the first day though. The amount of energy on campus brought by the preschool through 7^th grade classes after it being essentially empty was astronomical! Immediately when coming into our room, students would greet us and then go straight for the books. They LOVE books here. Throughout the day, students would stand and pray as a class, which was so unusual to witness personally coming from a culture with a  “separation of church and state” mindset. Praise God for every student making it back to school after their holiday and for giving me enough strength to serve Him here every day thus far.

Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and communication as I’ve been here (thank the Lord for technology). Much has been accomplished, but there is so much more to be done. Please pray for continued energy for me as I lesson plan with completely new curriculum and that we can keep growing as a community that loves the Lord. Enjoy some pictures below!

In Christ,

Erika Lichtfuss

Prayer

“Ohhhhhh, we’re halfway there, ohhh oh, living on a prayer!”

This has been my summer: living on a prayer. Quite literally, I would have completely combusted by now if it weren’t for the faithfulness of God and being able to come to Him with everything. Many experiences have been 100% new recently: asking strangers for financial support, speaking in front of churches, figuring out how to fit a bug tent into a tote (not easy people), etc. BUT God remains the same and I’m sure He smiles knowingly at situations that can so easily stress us out.

Many prayers were out of desperation. One sticks out to me, and maybe it’s because it’s really short, but I remember tearing up, saying aloud “God, I’m frustrated.” This was healing in so many ways though, because my prayers before were not authentic, but treated talking to God, the Creator of the universe, like something to check off. Religious prayers are dangerous because they are impersonal and dishonest.

Other prayers were from the heart and most related to meetings I had set up with people to ask for financial and prayerful support. I asked God to be present in conversations and fill my words with grace. Let me tell you, I have met with more people than I can keep track of and God has blessed these conversations to be some of the sweetest, passionate, Spirit-filled ones I’ve ever had. Man, if I (we) prayed before all our interactions like this, there would be such a change in our relationships!

One example here. I met with a friend at a coffeeshop (who was also support raising for missions) hoping to be refreshed by our interaction because I was drained in every way coming in. God worked through our meeting, but not how I expected. She came in more drained and overwhelmed than I did. This humbled me to view my struggles as not the only ones in existence and certainly not the worst. God brought us together at our lows for mutual encouragement by lifting up each other’s burdens. Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Pride

Ok this one is ugly and did not help me whatsoever. When I was at a low point in the amount I had for financial support, I was putting my value in the number on the screen and thinking how pathetic it was for how much work I’d put in. Then I heard God whisper, “Are you ready to give it up, stop trying so hard, and let me take over?” What a relief! I’d been positionally thinking of myself as “provider” and God as my “helper,” when reality is the exact opposite.

Besides for not finding my identity/strength in the Lord, I definitely had pride in thinking I should and could prepare for this mission on my own. This mindset just left me feeling so alone. However, halfway through, when the other Esther School staff reached out and told me to overcommunicate and ask questions, I realized how silly I was being. I struggled in isolation because of having too much pride to ask for help and let others close to see the messy me, who didn’t know what she was doing.

This will be a constant battle to fight for humility and ask for help as I step into my new role at the school. Prayers appreciated!

Provision

Wow. Ok that’s it. But seriously, I’ve raised financial support for a couple other mission trips before, but never something this significant. The process was a rollercoaster and stretched my faith, but overall God has blown my expectations way out of the water. Some of the most special gifts have been from college friends with little to give in the first place. Don’t misunderstand me, I have been totally blessed by ALL gifts, but something changes when you know someone is throwing their chips in the same basket and risking so much too. I am officially over 100% supported financially for the year, which feels unreal, so praise God and thank you for your generosity!!!

God also gave me seeds of encouragement throughout the summer in other ways too. Here are just a few quick examples:

• At the start of the summer, an older couple I lived with for a few weeks gave me Kwacha (Zambian bills) as they had vacationed in Zambia
• The nurse administering my vaccines had a son serving as a missionary with his wife in Namibia
• A friend was so excited to talk because her family lived as missionaries in Zambia for a year and had even met some Esther School staff while there

God has always been by my side and I’m learning to trust His hand of provision in many ways in this new journey. I love the confidence Jesus has in John 8:14 when he says “for I know where I came from and where I am going.” No matter what happens, I know my identity is found in the Creator who loves me and made me for His purposes and that in the very end I will be reunited with Him in glory. Hallelujah and thank you for all your support and continued friendship!

(Oh yeah, and packing…I think we all know how that goes haha. My flight leaves on August 27^th, prayers please 😉).